Adulthood is filled with so many responsibilities, for many children, the second they hit adulthood they’re just too overwhelmed. This may be the case with some children but so many others, childhood isn’t exactly stress-free either. Kids have to take on a lot of stuff as well such as constantly needing to learn and retain information, fit in, make friends, adjust to changes whether it be in-home, their environment, or at school.
This also includes dealing with bullies, their personal life with their family and so much more. It does sound like taking on a lot, right? With age, they just take on more and more. Many children can navigate these walks of life thanks to resilience. Resilience is what helps children become problem solvers, this is how they will be able to navigate stressful and unfamiliar situations. As parents, we’re not always going to be there for children. They will need to learn to navigate the word around for themselves. These tips will help you raise resilient children.
Avoid removing risks
It’s very natural for parents to want to be there for their children and to keep them safe at all times. However, this helicopter move isn’t going to be very helpful in the long run. Having your children face more risks will help them learn and gain resiliency. It’s important to give your kids age-appropriate freedom, they need to learn the limits for themselves. This also allows you to demonstrate the trust that you have in your child as well.
Don’t give out all the answers
It’s okay to tell your child “I don’t know”. Children absorb information like a sponge, they’re so curious about the world around them and this is followed by lots of questions. Children should know that they must tolerate the uncertainties in life. This is going to help them think about ways to deal with uncertainties and the challenges that they may bring. This also ties in to not sugar-coating what you say to them.
While yes, it’s important to show positivity to your child so they can have a positive outlook on life. They still shouldn’t have certain answers sugarcoated. For example, if your child is a teen and asks you about college. You could respond with something such as “many freshmen dislike their university or their program, some get used to it while others will transfer. You may feel the same, but I know you’ll figure out the best solution for yourself”.
Show your resiliency
If you want to raise resilient children, this means that you’ll have to show yours as this is how children are going to observe it. You can’t be a hypocrite. You can’t tell your child to do one thing while you’re doing the very opposite. Parents screw up, nobody is perfect, and mistakes happen all the time. Whenever you do make a mistake, it’s best to just admit to it. Admitting to your mistakes and faults is another part of resiliency. It’s something that everyone should learn. Spending time with your child, such as exercising together can help out a lot with showing how resilient you are.
Let your child make mistakes
As stated above, you should be open and admit to your children whenever you make a mistake. This also means that you should allow your children to make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t failures, these help with growth. While it can at times be difficult to watch your child mess up, it’s best. This helps your child learn what the slip-ups are and how they can make better decisions next time. It’s important to let your kid see the consequences of their actions. Being an overprotective parent is only going to make you the scapegoat for your child’s mistakes. They’re not going to learn that way at all.
Teach them problem-solving skills
Implementing critical thinking to kids at a young age will help with resiliency. Kids get nervous or scared quite easily. The best approach is to normalize their nervousness or fear as this will slowly go away once they begin facing these fears more and more. This helps with brainstorming and thinking of strategies of how to overcome this. It’s good to engage your child, but it is best to let them figure out how they plan to handle their challenges. They need to figure out how they’re going to solve their problems.
Know when to step in
There are going to be times as a parent that you’ll just have to step in, and that’s okay. This could be something such as having to look into a personal injury attorney for your child or speaking to the school about a bully. Teaching your child about resiliency doesn’t mean you are hands-off as a parent. It just means that you’re trying to guide them in a such way to where they know you won’t always be there for them.
This is going to help children navigate the world, whether there be inevitable trials or triumphs, through childhood and adolescence.